Cleaning Up, My Thought Life

Cleaning up my thought life is an ongoing process.

At 33, I AM has completely blown everything I've ever thought about Him out of the water! I have learned His true name according to the ancient Phoenician Hebrew, the truth behind many holidays that are celebrated in mainstream culture, and I have also learned to honor and keep the Ten Commandments in my life. 

These truths are clearing away much pain, undue burden and also strengthening my faith. Although The Most High is mysterious in that His thoughts and ways are higher than ours, He does allow us to understand His heart for us and for the world around us. And at times, He shows us His thoughts...

In this season I am determined to remain under the tutelage of the school master (which is the law of I AM) to train my thoughts, my heart and to bring my entire life into alignment with the purposes of The Most High.

As I become more diligent in applying the Ten Commandments and other laws in my life, I am amazed by how many believers have come into disagreement with me. 

I have been told that because believers are under grace we do not need to follow the law---not even the Ten Commandments.

I have been told that I should not follow or keep anything in the Old Testament because Christ is the New Testament. 

I have also been told that it is impossible to keep the law because no man is perfect. 

I believe that all of these are lies from the enemy that are designed to keep me in bondage to sin. And that have indeed kept me in bondage to sin for most of my life.  

I found it ironic that when I first moved to Phoenix for law school everyone admired that decision. They all thought I was smart to become adept in the study of the US legal system. No one finds it burdensome or unusual to follow the laws of man. 

But now when I say that I am studying the laws set by I AM, even believers tell me that I am making a huge mistake and leading myself to condemnation.

Praise be to I AM, that His mercies are new everyday! That He is so gracious and forgiving to allow us time to get our lives in line with His ways. Because of the mercy that He extends toward me, I am able to extend it toward others.

Scripture For Meditation: 

Matthew 5:17-19 AMP

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."

Selah

Cleaning Up, My Home

These days, The Lord has been calling me to clean up my home, my thought life and my financial life.

It took years for me to realize how these are all connected but one day in prayer I heard The Lord say "disobedience is poverty" and revelation came. 

My Home

I have been living in a one room guest house for almost 2 years now. I live behind the main home on the property, completely surrounded by the natural and inner city elements. I only have one sink, in the bathroom. Although I have a refrigerator and a microwave, I do not have a kitchen.

When I first moved here, I had been homeless. I was working, and sleeping on my friends couches for a year until I had paid off enough debt (I had been evicted from the previous apartment) to move into this place. 

It reminded me of the studio apartment

I had lived in Chicago, 8 years prior after finishing my undergraduate education and I knew it meant that I was at least back at ground zero. 

I thought I would be here for three months and then move to a better place.

6 months went by and I felt myself relax from moving a total of seven times in the previous year. I was tired of moving and my things remained in boxes.

One year went by and my parents came to visit. They felt bad for me not having a table or a chair and we went to Walmart to get a small tray table and folding chair. My things were still in boxes.

18 months went by and I get tired of the boxes. I am frustrated that I have not moved somewhere better. I am praying that The Lord move me to a better place. He speaks to me to organize the space I am in. I make my first trip to the Container Store and discover lots of handy things to take my clothes, shoes, jewelry and make up out of boxes. It feels good to trust the space. To see my things out right in front of me again. And to throw away some boxes.

Here we are two years later, and I have stopped praying about moving. In the midst of helping an elderly friend dust her apartment after a month of sickness, The Lord gives me a vision for a piece of furniture I need for my place. The next day I see the exact piece He has shown me on sale at a second hand furniture shop and I buy it.  I was able to pull my books out of boxes and have a place to put other things. I was also able to fold away the ironing board and not use it as a table any more. I actually created more space by organizing! 

I am now down to the last three boxes. They are filled with papers to sort through and decide whether to shred or to keep for now. 

I see how I have been disobedient by not stewarding my home well and how my thought life and my financial life have also been affected. 

Scripture for Meditation:

Ephesians 2:22 (NKJV) 

"in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit."

The Harvest is in the Seed

In September of 2013 I was being evicted from my studio apartment and I started a painting. I had purchased a very large canvas and I was excited to create my largest painting yet. 

I was able to rent a room from my friend in her townhouse and the painting moved with me. 

By mid October, the arrangement was too expensive and I moved in with an elderly lady to work as a caretaker. The painting moved with me. 

By November, I realized that the lady needed more help than I could provide. A friend allowed me to sleep on her couch and the painting moved to a storage unit with the rest of my belongings.

For Christmas, I was on a missions trip in Uganda. January 2014 I returned to America and was able to live with a former coworker. The painting remained in storage.

By April, my hostess wanted me to sacrifice my tithe in order to pay rent to her. I refused and moved to live with another friend I had met at church. The painting remained in storage.

At this point, I called my self homeless. Because of the eviction and sacrifices I had made to attend the missions trip I was in debt. Even though I was working, I wasn't making enough money to afford rent.

My friend from church began to tell me that I was not homeless. She told me that my home was with her and it was because of her speaking this into my life at that time that I took a second job so that I could give her some money. I gave her $200 a month beginning in May.

In July, I traveled to Mexico for the first time and led a team from my church on a missions trip partnering with another organization.  My job promoted me to full time from part-time and I was able to leave the second job. I began looking for an apartment. 

A friend I had met while serving in AmeriCorps asked me to be her roommate. In September I moved in with her but after one week her landlord determined that I did not qualify to move in because of the eviction. The landlord gave me one week to move out.

I fasted and prayed for five days until The Lord provided a furnished, guest house which became available for me to rent. 

Exactly one year after the eviction, I moved into another studio efficiency. I took the painting, and all of my belongings out of storage.

 Again, I was eager to complete the painting. I completed it on May 2015. I posted it up in my studio, where the sun shined all around it and it was the first thing I opened my eyes to in the morning.

In October, a friend of mine came to visit me and she commented about how heavy and strong the painting was. How much emotional weight it seemed to carry. She suggested that I pray about letting the painting go.

I removed it from its elevated place and turned it so that I was not immediately faced with it when I woke up. And I began to seek The Lord about how to let go of the painting. 

In May of 2016, I was moved to donate the painting to a local church. This particular church focuses on discipling people coming out of addiction, incarceration, poverty and homelessness; into a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have examined the fruit of this ministry and even though I belong to a different church, The Lord is undeniably present in this church and transforming people's lives through this ministry.

As I gave the painting to this church it was such a tender moment with The Lord. I realized how long I had been carrying the painting, planning for the painting, thinking about the painting, painting the painting, looking at the painting...it had become a part of me.

Out of all the time, money, clothes, food, etc. that I have given away to people this was the first time that it hurt to give. This gift came from a place deep in my heart where I had never given from before. 

As I was worshipping The Lord alone that evening, I cried and cried and cried! I poured out to Him! I look forward to partnering with The Lord again to create more beautiful paintings of testimony to His love!

Thank you Lord for your everlasting grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness. Thank you that you chose jars of clay for your marvelous light! Thank you that You are our rock, our salvation, The Truth that we can always stand on! Thank you Lord that we cannot out give you and for your promise that we will reap as we have sown. Thank you Lord for planting Your Son Jesus Christ into the earth so that I could be among Your harvest that You are yet gathering. I am in awe of You Lord!!!!! With all my heart, Alyse.